Wednesday, April 19, 2006

James Patterson & Andrew Gross, "Lifeguard" (Headline)

There is something decidedly ridiculous about this novel. First of all, the main protagonist, Ned Kelly ("Like the outlaw") is an idiot. Supposedly he has a degree in government and was a teacher. So why, pray, does he do so many stupid things?!
Ned joins some lifelong friends in a scheme to make $1million each, in one easy swoop - stealing 3 pieces of art from a wealthy Floridian. Only thing is, they're set up and things spiral out of control for care-free (and hitherto conviction-free) Mr Kelly.
Instead of dealing with the problem like a sane person, Ned decides to go all outlaw (like his name) and try to fix things by himself. This only gets him into more trouble.
True, there is no way this book would have been written if he hadn't gone on the lam, ignoring all common sense and logic. If nothing else, we meet some interesting characters - from Ned's Kiwi biker friend; Ned's "nemesis" Ellie Shurtleff, the FBI agent who's after him, but falls for him; bad guys who are actually written well, and you find yourself despising them, rather than rooting for them (as can be the case in many poorly written thrillers)... Characterisation is good, but not brilliant. The dialogue, cliches and cheese aside, does work nicely, and rarely sounds forced or unnatural.
As with all James Patterson novels, you have to shelf certain truths about the world, and simply enjoy the ride, trying not to grimace at the way people only seem to experience extremes of emotion (elation or despair - we'll have nothing else, thank you!), how some of the cheesiest phrases uttered by man seem to be met with delight and success. And people fall in love way too quickly, and with too many people (knowing they are the one for them, surely, can only happen twice in a couple of months with only the most fickle of people...).
Written with one of the ever-growing hordes of collaborators, Andrew Gross tends to work on the better novels ("2nd Chance", "3rd Degree", "The Jester"), but I think it perhaps Mr Gross' input that jacks up the emotions and schmaltz. "The Jester" had the most ridiculous ending, and Lucy Boxer, the main characte of "2nd Chance" and "3rd Degree" kept crying all the time!
Like always, there are a gazillion chapters, too (okay, there are 120, in 311 pages), so the pace is ramped up to the max throughout.
It's fun. It's rollicking in all the right ways. It's a good summer read. It's typical Patterson. Enjoy.

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